Mind, Matter, and Me

The first boy I liked and ended up dating, I liked because he listened to me.

We were in a friends basement and there was some conversation going on and I was trying to get my two sense in but no one was listening. Not in a malicious way, but in a we-were-all-talking-over-each-other way. Until the one guy sitting down turns to me and says “Maggie, Im listening”. I immediately felt valued.

Reflecting upon this instance and life ever since, I am fascinated by how feeling heard has been, and still is, so important to me.

There are five types of Love Languages: Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Receiving Gifts. There are plenty of quizzes and articles on the Five Love Languages and descriptions on what it all means. I recently took a quiz and the results had me wanting to talk about why I think Love Languages can play such a pivotal part in all of our relationships.

The two highest scoring Love Languages of mine were Quality Time and Acts of Service. This had surprised me as I am a hugeeee sucker for people giving me words of affirmation. But then I reflected upon the story from above and other similar stories where I felt most valued and like someone truly cared for me and they all had someone who listened to me. Someone who gave me their undivided attention. Then it sunk it that, yeah, I fricken LOVE IT when people listen to me. Truly listen to me. I love it when a friend texts me and asks to hang out. I love it when someone seems interested in what I am telling them. I love it. I think I love it because it makes me feel special. Someone wants to listen to what I have to say? Someone wants to pass time with me? That, to me, is the highest honor.

And I get it, it all kinda sounds like an egotistic way to perceive love but I have rationalized it with the fact that love given to me is hopefully given FOR me. (It’s the discussing it in first person that makes it all seem a little selfish 😉 )

Love Languages play an often undetected, key part in our relationships because the love given to you should be strictly FOR you. It’s not rude or mean to no longer associate yourself with someone who doesn’t love you in the capacity you need to be loved in. When a relationship doesn’t serve you in a way feels healthy or equal, then you have the right to walk away. The love you are given should be catered to you and that means we as human beings should know and have a better idea of what love looks likes to us. Love Languages can help us with that.

Understanding Love Languages has given me the ability to know myself better and has allowed me to then start loving other better as well. I learned yesterday my friends Love Language was Acts of Service. I now know I can love her better by serving her more. Discussing Love Languages with your friends or with your family can help strengthen all love given and received.

To me, love is listening. Love is doing the dishes after I cook. Love is starting to watch a TV show together. Love is switching my laundry. Love is choosing to spend our afternoons together. Love is helping, without obligation.

Unsure if any of this made sense. I have post holiday season brain fog. I also skied for a very long time today with very little intake of water (water intake was zero to none, only had half of a blue gatorade). I am working on figuring out how the heck to run a blog and I feel like I am failing and oddly enough I think that means I am on the right track Sometimes these entries feel like I am writing a college essay and that bothers me. I am working on figuring our how to write in the most organic way. It’s hard to write shit and not worry about how it sounds or how it will be taken or perceived. AH. This is alllllll part of me working on letting gooooooooooooo.

Okay!

I want to leave this post by saying thank you to everyone who listen to what I have to say; you all truly make me feel so loved.

Beebeeboobop,

Me